Travis' Manifesto

I've been in jail.

Life is an adventure.

I'm thinking about just getting rid of this journal account.

So, who wants to show me their pussy? Hmmm? Let's make a contest out of it. You post a pic of your goods and I'll tell you how sexy it is. And I'll jerk off to it.

It will be a cross between Hotornot.com and American Idol. Imagine-- a singing clam! I've never seen one sing before (queefing doesn't count, right?), but I did watch the video of a chick that could make her pussy take a drag off of a cigarette.

Yeah, it's late and I'm feeling silly. Eat me.

Look! More fucktards!

- hellraiser3391
- sephiroth91

I can really understand why a 13-YEAR-OLD GIRL would add me to her fucking friend's list. Because I have soooooooooo much in common with a chick that probably hasn't even gotten her first period yet. WTF is wrong with these people? Is the name Travis really rare and all of these fucktards honestly think I'm their friend IRL? Do they not even look at my userpic? Can they not tell by the way I write that I'm not some high school idiot?

FUCK!!!!

Hello, assholes. Let me introduce myself, though you probably can't be bothered to read this entry. My name is Travis. I am 35 years old. I live in the Seattle area. I work at a large software company. I am not into teenaged girls-- or boys for that matter. I have nothing in common with someone that was born in the 1990s. Please refrain from adding me to your list! I know this is falling on deaf ears, but I feel better just ranting about it.

Just. Don't. Add. Me.

You are not welcome here. I think anyone that adds me for such a stupid reason is beyond pathetic. You are a fucktard. You are twat. You are a piece of shit. You are everything that is wrong in the world. Spare yourself these insults and don't add me.

/Rant

There are more moronic twats that need to be added to the list:

dead2dawurld
iddieforu
lil_okie_chick
stephonavitch33
stumped1016
wmfalcon08
xratedhottee
brooklyndanzer
redneckgirl4u
sincerenoone
slipknot_kittie
kaseys_life
bdj6jdm9
koolkidd
thekid_inside
exies_girl

The following people are moronic twats:

steven_auck
insanedude1o3
slkbulldogs101
leahisrad
thedumblondeone
mr_emotron2k
ilovecheese1201
mainklne
annasbabi
bilabong828
ditzysk8erprep1
fragile_beauty
protogonoi
punkette22
saraandtravis
swimmer2007
vickster09
wayner1
yumpoplibra
nicole_marie
tuff2beaprinces
analizethis82
krazedlife
specialbabe
zonixs
ovaltineman
pickles54
duffmcwhalen
lilbeckaboo
greenleaf69

All of these idiots added me to their friends list simply because my username is travis. WTF? I would never add someone just because they share a name with someone that I know. Fuck people-- there is more than one Travis on the planet!

Gah!!!! Retards!

Edit: While I was writing this entry, another fucking retard added me for the same fucking reason. Heh, well, two can play that game and I just added him to my "moronic twats" list. Yeah, I'm talking to you, steven_auck!

The wayfarer,
Perceiving the pathway to truth,
Was struck with astonishment.
It was thickly grown with weeds.
"Ha," he said,
"I see that none has passed here
In a long time."
Later he saw that each weed
Was a singular knife.
"Well," he mumbled at last,
"Doubtless there are other roads."

-- Stephen Crane

It's going to be a long night. I'm thinking thoughts that I shouldn't. It's been such a long time since I've been with anyone, and I'm overwhelmed with desire right now. My genitals drive me nutty sometimes (pun somewhat intended).

Do you love creepy zombie movies? If so, immediately stop what you're doing right now and go see Dawn of the Dead. It is the coolest horror film that I have seen in many years.

Go check it out!!!

It's going to be another long day. I wish I had never left the islands, because reality is certainly much more of a bitch here. Fucking rat race. At least I'll be able to go riding this weekend. I don't care if it's raining or not. I just want to drive fast and feel the wind against my body. I want to pretend that I'm flying.

It feels so good to let go once in awhile.

I'm elated that LJ finally decided to give us the option of deleting undesirables from our "friend-of" list. Shortly after I created this journal, a pack of idiotic AOLers decided to add me to their lists simply because my name is Travis. Seriously, they went around and added journals simply for having usernames like travis, sarah, jason, eric, etc. What the fuck was the point of doing that? Fucktards. Anyway, I removed dozens of inactive or just plain unwanted journals from my "friend-of" list today. Adios, asshats! No more shall you plague my userinfo page.

I'm feeling especially bitter and mean today. I hate the world at the moment. Life is just one struggle after another and, quite frankly, I'm sick of dealing with the bullshit.

To The Moron That Keeps Trying To Access My Password,

Fuck off! Please learn to deal with the fact that this account belongs to someone else. You may want my username, but you are never going to get it. Piss off and bother someone else. Thank you.

Your Pal,
Travis

Sometimes I fantasize about driving my bike off of a cliff. Or just smashing into a wall at a high rate of speed. Or walking into the ocean and swimming until I lose consciousness.

I think about these things a lot. More and more.

In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter-- bitter," he answered;
"But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart.

-- Stephen Crane

I can really identify with this poem. I even wrote it in black marker on my motorcycle helmet. I embrace my bitterness; it is who I am. I am a bitter, broken man. And I don't think that can ever change.

I don't think that I want to change.

I thought about killing myself today.

What is the point of continuing this hellish existence anyway?

I'm back. I even updated my Livejournal style. I wonder how long this will last?

Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like "maybe we should just be friends" or "how very perceptive" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

i can't do it...

i can't be with you again
don't remind me
of the good times that we had
learned a lot from us since then
i never want these feelings
to ever come again
no, no

you'll never hear me crying
you'll never see me trying
to love you once again
your love is so past tense

please don't tell me
that you've changed
don't wanna hear of how
you've lost your evil ways
the one who's changed this time is me
and i won't go back
to feeling helpless and deceived
oh, no

you'll never hear me crying
you'll never see me trying
to love you once again
your love is so past tense

you'll never hear me crying
you'll never see me trying
to love you once again
your love is so past tense

your love...
your love...

you think you had me
fooled every now and then
you had me believing
that i was the reason
that you left

but i won't fall back
in love with you again
i don't even wanna be
(i don't even wanna be)
your friend
no, no, no

you'll never hear me crying
you'll never see me trying
to love you once again
your love is so past tense

you'll never hear me crying
you'll never see me trying
to love you once again
your love is so past tense

(you'll never hear me crying)
so past tense
(you'll never see me trying)
your love...
so past tense

I'm just playing with the new client. Well, I suppose it's not new, but this is the first time that I've used it. Kinda neat, actually.

• I still punch myself in the balls.


• I'm still obsessed with Becky.


• I am old and ugly now.


• No one will ever love me.


• I am a bitter and broken man.


• I live in a tropical paradise (The Bahamas) yet I am depressed.


• You should all pity me.

Someone tried to fuck with my password.

FUCK YOU!!!

I wish I didn't punch myself in the balls all the time.